doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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