I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
