Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
