How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
two words: eviction party
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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