My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
worst night to have a conscience
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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