opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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