i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
