Can i not drive my cunt home
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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