I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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