Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize