Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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