oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
