Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
