The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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