For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
