He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
