my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
