I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize