If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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