they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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