Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

So I'm banging this nun...

(314): View more from Missouri

Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?

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(586): View more from Michigan

Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.

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(916): View more from California

I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk

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(925): View more from California

I cannot believe I said bareback movement...

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(925): View more from California

Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.

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(509): View more from Washington

I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.

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