would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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