i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
