Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
