The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
