also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
When are your genitals available?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize