matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
