I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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