she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
