I think I just saw someone hide a body.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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