I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize