I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
