I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize