he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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