haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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