This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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