I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
