I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize