I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
