weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
