So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
