i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
