Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize