My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
