Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
