I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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