he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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