wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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