What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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