I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
