It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
