I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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