chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
