try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
