Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
