She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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