omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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